


Bert and Ernie

by Callisto



Series: Season 5 codas [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode Related, Gen, Humor, Season/Series 05, episode: s0509 The Real Ghostbusters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-09
Updated: 2011-04-09
Packaged: 2017-10-17 19:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/180509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Callisto/pseuds/Callisto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>“Barnes and Damien,” corrects Sam absently when Dean trails off. He’s trying to figure out just where the events of chapter thirty three might have taken place.</i></p><p><i>“Whatever, but did you know they...you know, that they were...”</i></p><p><i>Sam bites his lip but keeps his head down so that Dean won’t see. His big tough brother can apparently hold off the forces of heaven and survive those of hell, but saying the word ‘gay’ out loud right now is too much for him.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Bert and Ernie

**Author's Note:**

> The inspiration for this came from something Dean said to Castiel in 5.03. And is shamelessly feelgood.
> 
>  _Damien to Dean:"To wake up every morning and save the world, to have a brother who would die for you? Well, who wouldn't want that?"  
>  \--5.09 The Real Ghostbusters--_

Sam blinks. There it is again. Dean has been smiling at odd moments for the last two hours, a kind of sideways smirk at a joke he hasn’t let Sam in on yet. He also allowed Sam to turn the sound down on Def Leppard, he didn’t make a single small bladder crack when Sam asked for a pit stop, and right now he’s flailing his arms about, banging the steering wheel, and singing the chorus of _Pour Some Sugar On Me_ as endearingly loud and off key as Dean always is.

“What?” Dean breaks off his singing to yell, then contorts his mouth to do the percussion sounds.

“Nothing!” Sam yells back over the music. “You—

“What?” Dean abruptly turns it down, catching Sam out mid-yell.

“You, you’re in a good mood. It’s nice. It’s weird, but it’s nice.”

“Sun is shining, my baby’s purring, you’re...you’re doing whatever it is you do over there, and me? I’m saving the world with my trusty sidekick by my side.”

Sam hits him in the arm. “Sidekick, my ass. Dream on, Tonto.”

In reply, Dean flips Sam’s dog-eared copy of _Supernatural_ closed. Twice, losing the page Sam had it open to both times. “Dean!” He tries glaring, he really does, but he can’t get annoyed when Dean is like this. So he gives in and smiles as he flips him off.

And things settle back down for a mile or two. Then Sam can feel his brother look across a few times. He hears Dean clear his throat.

“Back there, Sam, at the hotel. Did you know about Bert and Ernie? About them...”

“Barnes and Damien,” corrects Sam absently when Dean trails off. He’s trying to figure out just where the events of chapter thirty three might have taken place.

“Whatever, but did you know they.. you know, that they were...”

Sam bites his lip but keeps his head down so that Dean won’t see. His big tough brother can apparently hold off the forces of heaven and survive those of hell, but saying the word ‘gay’ out loud right now is too much for him.

Sam schools his face as best he can. “Were what, Dean?”

“You know...” Dean is hand-waving now “...that they were... well, Bert and Ernie.”

“Muppets from Sesame Street? Barnes sells stereos and the other guy is something to do with copiers. I don’t think they let muppets do that, Dean.”

“No! I’m not... Jesus, Sam. I know they’re not friggin’ muppets, okay? I’m talking about them being... Oh, you son of a bitch.”

Sam’s shoulders are giving him away, and while he regrets the mileage he’s giving up in yanking Dean around like this, it’s either laugh now or hurt something.

“Gay, Dean. Just say it!” Sam manages to get out. “You’ll still be a macho bad-ass, I promise.”

“Shut up! I can fucking say it – gay. See? Gay, Sammy, gay!”

“Whatever, Dean. You’re my brother and I kinda love you anyway.”

Sam holds up his hands quickly as he hiccups to a halt, aware he’s enjoying himself way too much now. “Okay, okay. To go back to your question. Yeah, I knew.”

“How?”

“Don’t look at me like that, man. I caught them making out in the stairwell this morning.”

“Wow. Awkward.”

Sam looks at him. “Not really. And at least they weren’t...you know, talking like us when I interrupted them.”

Dean glares at him, appalled. “Dude. Don’t even.”

Sam smiles and studies him. “Does it bother you?”

“What? No! It’s just..."

“Not while they’re being you and me, right?”

“Right. Too weird, man.”

“And impossible. I’m way too hot for you.”

Sam can’t resist making a kissy noise when Dean’s arched eyebrow comes his way.

“Yeah, like your ugly ass is gonna tempt me.”

Sam shakes his head, a little amazed by where this conversation has ended up. But there’s something else he’d like to know while he’s got Dean loose and free-wheeling like this. “What is it with you and Bert and Ernie anyway?”

“Dude. Come _on_. Those matching sweaters and that rubber duck? In a basement under the stairs, and with all those friggin’ pets they had together?”

“You’re a sick man, Dean Winchester, you know that?”

“Just because you liked them.”

“I did, didn’t I? Remember that lunch box I had?”

“The one I tossed in the garbage and replaced with a Spiderman one? I saved you a thousand cool points there, bro.”

All Sam remembers is a whole bunch of hicuppy tears one morning as Dean explained something about losers and heroes with all the patience and articulation a ten-year-old had for the six-year-old who wanted his Bert and Ernie lunch box back NOW. Dean had rolled his eyes, crammed some hastily made sandwiches into the new one, and then taken Sam’s hand and talked about how cool Spiderman was the whole way to school that day.

“Man, I loved that lunch box.”

But he’d loved the Spiderman one, too. And kept it, battered and faded, for a very long time.

“Yeah, yeah, your secret’s safe with me, Samantha.”

With that, Dean turns the music back to ear-bleeding level, cutting off any chance Sam has of getting his own dig back in. And the next thing Sam knows, Dean is persuading him--as in hitting Sam's thigh repeatedly--to join in the chorus.

Which he does. Because they may have broken the world, but if Dean wants to Pollyanna his way through one particular sunny morning, then Sam and the broken world can surely find it in their hearts to let him.

*****


End file.
